Thursday, April 28, 2011

Burn Baby, Burn!

...or, cleaning up the mess

For much of the past week we have been burning large piles of brush, junk, limbs, and other debris. Over the long, long winter the wind and rain managed to knock down hundreds of limbs around the farm. Most of the pieces were small but some limbs were the size of small trees.

There seems to be something therapeutic about building and tending a fire‑maybe it’s a faint connection to our prehistoric DNA or something. It’s hard work cutting, dragging, and piling the pieces, but once the fire gets crackling its almost hypnotic and energizing. The heat can get intense but I don’t mind (of course the cold weather makes the heat feel better, too). The only trouble with using a fire to keep warm is that one side of you is always cold.

Others have told me the same thing‑a big fire has some kind of power to keep us mere humans hanging around feeding it. From time to time a hot ember lands someplace where there is a bit of bare skin but no permanent damage is done. The little burn holes in my sweatshirt and jeans don’t heal so easily.

So when I need to get away from my normal rat race, a good roaring fire is just the thing!!

axman


Sunday, April 17, 2011

Thinking – a Mere Artifact of the Past?

No, I’m not specifically referring to my senility and overall mental decline – that’s bad enough, of course.

I would like to think I’m a thinker; wouldn’t we all. After 70 years of hanging around the planet I should have developed some skills of observation, calculation, and evaluation. I never got rich and I have some health problems, but there’s still that hope of making up my own mind – such as it is.

But when I take a close look at areas in my life it seems that thinking is discouraged rather than encouraged. Maybe I'm just terminally cynical, but... for example...

·       Every day somebody on TV or on the radio or even a Facebook ‘friend’ is telling me what to think politically. No facts are presented to help me make up my own mind. Mostly the communication consists of less-than-half-truths, clichés, and flat out lies. “Don’t think, just agree – and of course vote MY way.

·       Advertisers (name your media) do much the same. “Buy our product because this is a cute, but flawed, commercial.” Don’t think, just buy MY product.

·       Religion? People knocking at my door with brochures? Hate mongering? Not many facts to hang a decision on here. Don’t think, just believe MY way (or else) – and of course send money.

·       Now I don’t expect any of this to get any better and the whole conversation is a bit exhausting. So, I think I’ll have a glass of wine. You see, there IS still room for thinking!

axman



Thursday, April 7, 2011

Why Doesn’t My PSA ever go Down?

Don’t I wish…

Every couple of weeks I put something on my blog that relates a lot or a little to my prostate cancer. It’s easier to write about other people and other issues. After my visit to the oncologist last week, I guess it’s time to focus on me again.

After nearly eight years, my prostate cancer is pretty well under control; managed but not cured. It’s still there but seems to be pretty quiet. But my low PSA doubled from September to December and again from December to March. That hadn’t happened in more than three years – since I started taking low dose hormones. My prescription was doubled in December and increased again just last week.

Most guys with incurable prostate cancer know that sooner or later, whatever treatments and meds they’ve had, their cancer will find a way to grow anyway and their PSA will increase – and increase. There are several levels of medications and I’m still at (almost) the lowest hormone treatment level. There is an inevitable progression once prostate cancer isn’t cured by first level treatments.

Progression is slow, no need to worry, no need to make any new decisions just now, but there will be a time when I’ll go to another level of treatment – maybe instead of pills, it’ll be delivered by injection or IV. Maybe there will be new medications to try or new and promising clinical trials. I’m not holding my breath waiting for a cure just now.

I’ll take my increased meds (hopefully my prescription plan will still pay) and wait and see. There really aren’t any changes in diet or exercise or lifestyle that might make a difference – I’ve tried to do all the right things already.

axman