Lost Another Friend to Prostate Cancer

We first met when we lived in Canada in the 1970s and our families have been friends for the past 40 years. Dennis was, at various times, my neighbor, my student, my building contractor, and my colleague (he became a psychologist). He was active, smart, ambitious, and musically talented (he played in a rock band in his 60s). He had a knack for helping others—whether building their house or counseling their marital problems.

He was diagnosed only four years ago but the cancer was already advanced. He received multiple treatments to slow the tumor growth but nothing was very successful. His church and family ties helped keep him strong and positive.

No matter what progress you hear about in cancer treatment, it all boils down to the individual person. I can only hope that somebody somewhere finds a way to slow down prostate cancer (or even cure it) before I lose more friends.

axman

Afraid of Dying?

…just about everybody is if they’re being honest and paying attention

Most of my life I never gave a second thought to death or dying unless somebody I knew died. That changed slightly the day I was diagnosed with cancer. Even then it was more strange than frightening. In recent years several close friends have died from long-term diseases including a variety of cancers. I was impressed at how calm, accepting, and unafraid they were.


In my experience, there seems to be a progression of views and beliefs in life.

At 20 I assumed I would live forever and never lose any kind of functioning. For a while that seemed to be the case.


At 50 I felt strong and still indestructible – even though I remember that I considered my parents old when THEY were 50.


At 70 (almost) I have come to accept mortality (sort of). But there is a lot I still want to do. My bucket list is long. I have slowed down some (OK, more than some) and there are more aches and pains than a few years ago. My prostate cancer is under control, for now, and my arthritis and other aches and pains are mainly annoyances.


My mind (this, of course, may not seem to be true to anyone who knows me) seems to be OK most of the time – if you don’t count forgetting lots of things.

I am less patient with long waits for medical appointments, slow payment of insurance claims, rudeness from people who SHOULD be helping me, and people assuming I am stupid just because I’m old and gray. I’ve learned to say things like, “Let me talk to your supervisor”, and “No, that’s NOT OK”!

So I’m just going to get on with it (it being living the way I want) and see what happens.


Axman