One Year at a Time

Youth is fleeting; old is forever. Maybe it’s better not to know what all is going on in my body‑‑and how much and how fast...

As another birthday rolls by (this is number 71) Life is good. Although I feel OK now, when I look back there have been quite a few changes in a mere eight short, short years since I was diagnosed with prostate cancer (the years really have seemed short).

·       I ran my last marathon in 2005 and now have difficulty running even two or three miles. Knee surgery had a hand (or knee) in that. I haven’t given up completely on running, however. But I also jumped out of an airplane for the first time (and the last time so far) on my birthday that same year. ...almost balances out, doesn’t it?

·       I retired in 2007 and started slowing down a little in how much I can get done—I still get things done, but it takes longer. I’ve been able to write (finishing my second book since retirement—but I’ve cleverly managed to avoid making any money at it) and putter around the house and a nap every few days helps. We’ve done some major remodeling but with a lot of younger, smarter hired help.

·       Take my bladder, please! It was normal and healthy in 2003 but surgery, radiation, and hormone therapy have reduced its efficiency and predictability a bit. If you happen to have an extra one...

·       All those same events and meds have also waged war on my testosterone level (keeping it low is necessary to keep me alive, of course) as well. Oh, well.

·       I need more sleep, stronger glasses, and more time in the hot tub to ease the old joints.

I’m sure the aging process itself is to blame for some or even most of this. Most of my friends have experienced at least some of these events.

Adapt, adjust, suck it up, and carry on. There are still unfulfilled entries on my Bucket List but the list of things I have done already is a lot longer. I wouldn’t trade my life for anybody’s. I’ve been blessed with a great family, good friends, time to do most of the things I want to do, and occasionally a bottle of really good wine.

axman

You Sure Don’t Look Terminal

Prostate cancer doesn’t make you look very sick…

Whenever I go to one of my doctor’s offices (a disgustingly common occurrence) there will be people in the waiting room in wheel chairs, on crutches, holding oxygen tanks, coughing, bandaged from head to foot, or just sitting with a totally vacant stare. But I (prostate cancer and all) don’t show even the slightest symptom (unless you count gray hair and wrinkles)! I seem out of place around all those sick people.

When I’m around friends or in classes or even meeting people at social events and the conversation comes around to cancer (it always seems to among the old folks in my social circle) I answer their questions about my cancer. Then there’s always the, “Now way,” “Can’t be,” “You don’t look sick,” and “Are you sure” statements. Maybe if I was pale or limped or drooled (more)… I DO have a scar but don’t usually offer to display it in polite company or during casual conversations.

Most cancers, of course, don’t have a lot of visible symptoms – and in fact that’s not really so bad at all. Believe me, I’m happy with my invisible symptoms and hope I never get to the point when I’m obviously sick – even if it means not getting a lot of heartfelt sympathy.

axman

Waiting for Symptoms

I am convinced most men (including me) operate in a state of denial at least part of the time. In my discussions with guys who have prostate cancer and those who's wives think they might be at risk there is a common thread: "I'll go see a doctor as soon as I have some symptoms." "What symptoms?" I ask. Many of these guys are convinced (or want to be) that anything as serious as prostate cancer would definitely have some warning signs. Pain or difficulty in urinating would be symptom number one. No pain - no disease.
If only... In fact (and most men know this deep down someplace) prostate cancer usually has NO early signs, signals, or symptoms. It would be nice to have symptoms BEFORE going to a doctor. If you go for a prostate cancer exam and DON'T have prostate cancer are you a wuss? Would Real Men and Real Women point and laugh? ...they might anyway, but that's another story.
Six years after my initial diagnosis and subsequent treatments I still haven't had even ONE small symptom that might be connected with my prostate cancer. Not one. And that's the norm.
Bottom line? Don't wait for symptoms. Be a wuss and get a checkup now and then.

axman