Do Not Go Gently—

But DO go as much, as far, and as often as you can…

 

Both Carol and I vastly overused the medical system in January and February. It seems we had more than our share of medical maladies, slow recoveries, new pills, multiple tests, and it went on and on… We normally head south in early February to soak up some desert sun while the rain dominates our home in Oregon. This year we got away a month late, which is better than not leaving at all, and we have been basking in the Arizona sun for about a month now. We left the day after the last doctor gave us the last OK (or what we interpreted as an OK).

We are healthy, relaxed, tan, active, and have seen nary a doctor, clinic, or hospital in a while. Hooray! Of course, like so many of our friends, our life seems to revolve around the regular medical appointments we have for blood tests, med updates, exams, and the odd x-ray and scan. We accept that as part of our long term survival plan.

It’s those dratted unplanned health events that mess up our schedule. You can’t actually plan to get the flu a week from Tuesday, twist your ankle the day after the grandkids go home, or slip on the ice next month. All these things can, and do, happen whenever they jolly well please.

We are getting more stubborn (if that’s possible) about doing what we want, when we want, and finding ways to shortcut those medical procedures and that time consuming healing process. For example, we have learned to remove stitches (actually pretty simple) and perform other medical procedures that might otherwise keep us close to home. We haven’t mastered brain surgery yet, but never say never… 

As more and more health challenges can (and do) occur, it takes more and more planning to do what we need to stay alive and mostly healthy and at the same time live our life our way. So far so good, but it can sometimes require a bit of diabolical plotting. Isn’t life supposed to be challenging, exciting, and interesting?

axman

How Old is Old Enough?

Life spans have changed dramatically in our lifetime…

For tens of thousands of years human-like creatures were generally content (or not) to live 30 or 40 years (should they survive infancy). The oldest and most decrepit might make it to 50.

Then, amazingly and almost entirely in the last 100 years, average lifespans have rocketed to 70 or 80. There are millions of people living to 90 or even 100. That’s a big change and probably largely due to improvements in sanitation, immunizations, and the availability of medical care. Great news, right? Well yes, mostly. Mostly you say? Yes, mostly I say.

It seems (to me anyway) that our genetics haven’t kept up with the changes in lifespan. The human-like body was designed to work at peak efficiency for about 30 years and then go into a slow decline, followed, hopefully, by a quiet death as a respected elder—if some saber toothed beast didn’t catch up with you first. 

So our decline may still start at 30 and continue for another 50 or 60 years. Much of our life is filled with system declines and failures…memory failures, blood failures, lung failures, liver failures, bone failures, hearing failures, sight failures, digestive failures, and on and on. And I didn’t even mention such things as cancer, diabetes, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, and other disease conditions. 

We all cope valiantly with these conditions and indignities—some more successfully than others. The world is becoming full of old declining people (like me) without the ‘respected elder’ status of earlier generations. Nobody seeks our wisdom or counsel. Nobody wants to hear about the days before NSA surveillance, WiFi, the Walkman, or even TV (there was a time before TV?). 

Knowing these facts full well, I am dedicated to continuing my gypsy lifestyle, spending my kid’s inheritance, and embarrassing my kids and grandkids whenever possible. So far‑‑so good. Who’d a thunk us humans could have so much fun for so long with parts that hurt, parts that don’t work, and parts that are missing. Carry on!

axman

Thanksgiving is for Giving Thanks

Life is short so take advantage of every opportunity...

As I get older (and believe me, I do feel older) I am finding a lot of things to be thankful for. For those of us fighting any kind of cancer I believe this is especially important. It can be easy to focus on life not being fair, treatment being expensive, conditions getting worse, and not being able to do what we used to do. True or not, there's not much we can do about them.

My wife Carol and I have been able to spend time with all our kids and grandkids during the past several weeks--not always the same time or the same place, but together nonetheless. It was great! I encourage you to spend time with family and friends, and not just during holidays. Most of the people I know who are living with a serious disease have a very positive outlook on life. It's fun to be around them. We laugh a lot.

Our motto is: DO AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AS LONG AS YOU CAN. So far, so good. I just do it a lot slower than last year.

 I sometimes think about the good old days but as far as I'm concerned, the good days are now. If this sounds like I'm out of touch with reality, maybe so. I know I won't live forever--neither will you. However long any of us survive will probably seem better if we focus on being active and happy and not angry and miserable. Just saying.

axman

One Year at a Time

Youth is fleeting; old is forever. Maybe it’s better not to know what all is going on in my body‑‑and how much and how fast...

As another birthday rolls by (this is number 71) Life is good. Although I feel OK now, when I look back there have been quite a few changes in a mere eight short, short years since I was diagnosed with prostate cancer (the years really have seemed short).

·       I ran my last marathon in 2005 and now have difficulty running even two or three miles. Knee surgery had a hand (or knee) in that. I haven’t given up completely on running, however. But I also jumped out of an airplane for the first time (and the last time so far) on my birthday that same year. ...almost balances out, doesn’t it?

·       I retired in 2007 and started slowing down a little in how much I can get done—I still get things done, but it takes longer. I’ve been able to write (finishing my second book since retirement—but I’ve cleverly managed to avoid making any money at it) and putter around the house and a nap every few days helps. We’ve done some major remodeling but with a lot of younger, smarter hired help.

·       Take my bladder, please! It was normal and healthy in 2003 but surgery, radiation, and hormone therapy have reduced its efficiency and predictability a bit. If you happen to have an extra one...

·       All those same events and meds have also waged war on my testosterone level (keeping it low is necessary to keep me alive, of course) as well. Oh, well.

·       I need more sleep, stronger glasses, and more time in the hot tub to ease the old joints.

I’m sure the aging process itself is to blame for some or even most of this. Most of my friends have experienced at least some of these events.

Adapt, adjust, suck it up, and carry on. There are still unfulfilled entries on my Bucket List but the list of things I have done already is a lot longer. I wouldn’t trade my life for anybody’s. I’ve been blessed with a great family, good friends, time to do most of the things I want to do, and occasionally a bottle of really good wine.

axman

Weather or Not, That is the Question

La Nina, El Nino, Global Warming, Climate Change, and infernal rain

As a wee child I remember being amused when all the old folks sat around and cursed the weather (too wet, too hot, too dry, too windy, or too something else). The physical complaint of the day was rheumatism. Now I find myself doing the same thing, and worse yet my mental and physical health seem to wax and wane according to the temperature and precipitation. Rheumatism is no longer at the top of the list, but the process hasn’t changed. I have become my parents and grandparents. I’m not sure this is all bad but, like many people I know, I didn’t think it would ever happen to me.

I am sure that weather and climate don’t have all that much to do with my health and happiness but sometimes it sure seems that way. Once the weather changes I’ll be one of those complaining about 90 degree days, sunburn, and heatstroke (probably). Maybe I need to stay busier or get more creative or just get a life.

You’ve probably seen the research that points out how people are more depressed in the winter and drink more alcohol where the winter is longer. People generally live longer in warmer climates (I think diet and lifestyle may factor in there, too) and sunshine helps create Vitamin D3 that is supposedly good for all of us (what’s good or not good for us seems to change on a regular basis so don’t count too heavily on D3 forever). I can remember when large amounts selenium, iron, and vitamin C were also supposed to be good for you. And chocolate and coffee and wine were bad. We can all count on change.

So I’ll try to ignore the weather (pretend like it's warm and sunny), eat what seems to be good for me (or what I really like), and carry on as if the universe was unfolding as it should.

 axman

Does a Vacation Make Me Healthier?

…it sure seems like it does

I really doubt if my PSA or blood pressure or cholesterol level actually improves much when I go on vacation. A vacation rarely results in weight loss (just the opposite) but often does improve my tan and mental outlook. So I may or may not actually be healthier after a week or two of R and R.

We’ve been away from a very busy and stressful few months of moving, repairing the old and new houses, packing, hauling, unpacking, and building new rooms on the new house. The good news is that the move has happened and the new deadlines are now a little softer.

After two weeks of relaxing on the Arizona desert I’m sleeping better and longer, able to focus on doing absolutely nothing, and we hike and jeep on the desert every day. We even get lost now and then – but always find our way back home - it's actually fun.

Now we're back home in the Oregon rain, with a house full of boxes to be unpacked, and many, many, many large and small tasks to be done. But, in yet another month, we’re headed out for another short vacation. It seems to work for us.

If you should come across any evidence that indicates vacations are NOT good for mental and physical health – just keep it to yourself.

axman

Ask Lots and Lots of Questions

…just don’t expect lots of answers

I see several doctors every two or three months. I give blood, get weighed (and keep gaining), have my blood pressure checked, and am told that nothing has changed. It’s all pretty mundane and boring.

But, I usually have a list of questions to ask – at least a few. I believe it is my job to ask questions – it’s MY life. My doctors likely (at least in their minds) roll their eyes and say, “Oh no, not again.”

Is there anything new in meds or clinical trials?
What’s next when THIS med stops working?
Is it OK if I decide to run a marathon (fantasy thinking)?
What could I be doing that makes the bad cells grow faster?
How am I going to pay for all this?

Do I get answers? Sometimes. Sometimes the doctors ask me what I think. They may or may not listen to my answers.

If I can get them to think about what I’m thinking it just might lead to something in the future (my future).

My lifelong training and education has been to accept that doctors should know the answers and we patients should obediently and quietly listen and obey. Nope.

A friend of mine (who incidentally died of cancer) always said his preferred way to die was to be shot by a jealous husband. I’d prefer to be done in by global warming or even a charging elephant. I’m not sure just what choices I may have at the time.

In the meantime I plan to survive indefinitely and keep asking questions (my doctors may eventually decide on their own way to do me in).

axman

A Leged in My Own Mind

…how do I want to be remembered - is there even a choice?

When I was a kid growing up way out in the country, I knew a lot of older men who seemed ancient to me at the time – wrinkled, bald, fat, and sometimes crippled. I was told these guys were war heroes, ex-major league ballplayers, and bi-plane pilots. In my adolescent mind this wasn’t possible. Old duffers were always old duffers; they couldn’t possibly have been young and strong and brave in some past life.

Now I’m older than they were when I knew them. And even though I fit the description from above (wrinkled, fat, bald, and gimpy) I still remember the time when I was young and strong and adventurous. But how do my grandkids (and maybe great-grandkids) see me? Could they even imagine what I was like 25 or 40 or 60 years ago? Probably not.

Will they even know what it means to work your way through college? Would they believe I actually ran all those marathons and ultra marathons? And how could I have survived without HD TV, computers, cell phones, iPods, and especially wifi?

I guess the solution is: don’t worry about it, be happy. Keep doing what I do now. And accept the fact that I will be remembered as a strange old man and not the Greek God I would have like to have been in my wild, impetuous youth. My youngest grandchild was just born - what will he think of his old grandma and grandpa? Don't ask...


axman