Half-Way, More or Less

FIVE Chemo infusions completed and FIVE to go!

Here is the latest chapter in my very, very strange year of medical anomalies. After my fifth Chemo treatment (treatments are three weeks apart): The news is mostly good--very good.

1  My PSA has decreased from a high of 54 in May to 15 at the end of July!
2  My appetite has improved greatly. For nearly six months most foods tasted terrible or at best bland. All of a sudden food tastes like food again. Why? Maybe I'll never know but I will continue to enjoy eating normally.
3  And my weight has increased by more than ten pounds since May. I almost look normal (but on the slim side) again. I had to buy some new clothes to fit my trimmed down frame (bought pants in the Boys Department).
4  I am able to jog a little and walk a mile or two most days. For about an hour a day I can work in the yard, split and carry wood, or do a few household chores.
5  My tolerance of the Chemo drug has been pretty good. No serious side effects, no major pain, and I still have much of my hair. I didn't have all that much to begin with.

There are always challenges:

1  I regularly experience fatigue, take a nap or two each day, and sleep 10 to 12 hours at night. I fall asleep while watching TV and often don't make it past 8:00 pm. I fall asleep while talking to my wife (she thinks I'm just ignoring her). This is worst the first 7 to 10 days after Chemo. It gets better about a  week before the next treatment.
2  My attention span suffers from time to time. That may also be related to my advanced age.
3  I catch colds easily, have developed rashes and a fungus, and use a ton of hand sanitizer. It's hard to remember to be careful and avoid all sorts of dust, germs, and other stuff.

Cancer Survivor? We are all survivors. I have come to the conclusion that you are a 'survivor' at this very moment and you never know what will happen five minutes in the future. There are never any guarantees. That's OK.

We still plan our life as we always have. We travel, visit friends and relatives, and take on projects on the farm. But now, for example when making airline reservations, we always buy the trip insurance--just in case. Life is pretty good. Thank all of you who have cared and supported me.
Stay tuned!

axman

Is Sleep Really Overrated?

Not mine!

There was a time when I considered sleep a waste of time or necessary evil--there was too much I wanted to do. In my late teens and twenties I often went to school by day and worked by night. There would be days on end when I didn't sleep more than two or three hours. No sweat. I don't remember being sleepy or fatigued. Maybe that's a bit of selective memory, but I survived.

Years passed and I discovered that I needed more sleep to function--at least five or six hours a night. Late nights would find me nodding off the next day (hopefully not when driving or operating heavy machinery).

Now in my retirement years I find myself sleeping more and more, including a nap most days. Is it related to the medications I take? Or my body valiantly fighting the prostate cancer?  Eight or nine hours isn't unusual. Is that normal? I guess it is for me but some of my geriatric friends say they have difficulty getting quality sleep most of the time. Is that normal?

I guess I'm lucky to go to sleep so easily but there's always a fear that I'll need more and more. Of course getting up every couple of hours at night takes a little of that sleep time. I'd hate to sleep so much I missed out on meals.

axman

That Elusive Happy Medium

...and I don’t mean a hard to find, but pleased, fortune teller

Most of my life has been pretty busy—raising a family, personal and family activities, and work; often two or more jobs at a time. I never really thought about it, but there wasn’t too much time to sit around and relax or ponder or even feel sorry for myself. It must have worked because all in all I’m pretty healthy and happy (It seems I missed out on the wealthy and wise part of the equation).

Retirement changed that pattern. There have been the super busy times—like building and remodeling this past year—and a few times when we just sat around and read or napped. Doing nothing for too long turns out to be really boring. And that seems to be a common thread among some retirees. Doing too much for too long turns out to be really tiring. And getting tired is easier as I get older.

Right now there are too few relaxing times but that should change in a month or two when we head to Arizona for a few weeks of R and R without much of anything to do and we can head home when it gets boring.

Right now there’s building and finishing a book and always something that should have been done yesterday. But I’m trying to look at life one day at a time and that seems to be a good mantra and helps keep the stress level down.

My goal over the next year or so is to find a balance of activity and relaxation that seems to work. Maybe I’ll call it the Geriatric Goldilocks Syndrome—not too much; not too little; but jusssst right. How hard could it be?

axman

If More is Better…

...then I should be more better

About a month ago I discovered that my PSA had doubled since January. It also doubled between October and January. So that resulted in yet another increase in my main meds (bicalutamide). I have gone from a daily dose of 50mg in September to 100mg in January to 150mg in April.

It’s not hard to swallow them—the pills are very small—so that’s not a problem. There is the cost factor and my razor sharp math skills have led me to the conclusion that the cost of three-a-day is triple that of one-a-day (you see, I passed 9^th grade math).

So far it appears that there is no increase in obvious side effects like green spots on my skin, appendages falling off, or decreased brain function (it’s already at an all time low). But there is one little thing that stands out; I seem to need more sleep and rest. I’m not sure that fatigue is even on the list of 437 contraindications (possible side effects) printed out on the paperwork that accompanies my prescription.

As for me, however, whatever the actual reason (age, mental breakdown, physical collapse, the heartbreak of psoriasis, or climate change) I get tired sooner, need a nap oftener, and just doing my normal daily chores (as assigned by my wife) brings on heavy breathing (not the good kind).

What’s next? Pretty soon I’ll just stay asleep 24/7 and avoid all that interfering social stuff that now goes on every day between naps.

axman

Yet another Escape from the Cold

How many times do I need a getaway? As many times as possible…

I’ve given up on staying warm – especially when I am outside all day in the wet and cold at least pretending to work. Our new garage is at a point where we can close it up and head to Arizona to thaw. I intend to warm up, rest up, and cheer up in the sunshine. I also intend to do some reading and hiking and napping and drinking – not necessarily in that order.

There is always something more to do but most of the time it can wait until I’m ready to do it – not always, but nearly always. And there’s always the possibility that somebody else will do it while I’m gone – maybe leprechauns or fairies or elves or menehunes… - I’m not holding my breath.

More and more I am accepting that I actually need more 'down time' than I did in previous decades of my life. Invincible ends at some point.

And I really do need to get some work done on the new book – with Tom my co-author. Maybe I can convince him to do all the writing and I can wander in the desert and enjoy the warm weather – now that’s a plan worthy of more consideration.

axman

Culture Shock - Sort Of...

For several months now my wife and I have been working long hours most days to get our house in shape before winter gets any worse. Aches, pains, fatigue, and cold and wet working conditions have been the norm.

Then, just a few days ago, we packed a bag and flew to Hawaii for two weeks. We didn't make many plans or commitments - just places to stay.

And here we are with almost nothing to do and we're doing it very well so far. It's kind of strange to go from being busy 100% of the time to 0%. It's a shock to the system but somehow we'll manage.

Recharging my batteries is something I need more and more often these days. Fighting (or managing) my prostate cancer takes more energy than I would have thought - I guess it is surprising because of the lack of symptoms. The energy drained by the cancer (and old age) would normally have been used to mix concrete, patch roofs, build shelves, and even run.

I guess I can cope with that for now.

axman

Run, Rest, Recover, Repeat - - - Eventually

It takes a long, long time…

My motives (like me) are more or less pure and simple; I just want to get in shape to run another (ONE more) marathon. How hard could it be? I’ve done it 75 times before. But the dark powers of the universe seem to be conspiring against me (like in a Greek tragedy).

I’m not talking about serious injuries, hurricanes, floods, or even fire. I’m talking about the frailty of my own body and how long it takes to recover from a workout.

I’ve been doing this for six decades or so and have noticed a diabolical trend. In the early days it was pretty easy; I could do two workouts a day with no downside. Then it was one-a-day workouts until my late 40s. For the next 20 years or so I could muster every-other-day training. But now it takes three or four days between even moderate workouts to make sure the kinks are gone, the muscles are no longer sore, and the fatigue has moderated. Not fair.

A little more sleep, longer sessions in the hot tub, and a nap now and then all seem to help. But, time’s a wasting! Where did those ‘runner’s highs’ and ‘endorphins’ go? Maybe there is an age limit. I’ll let you know what I find out.

axman

Think I'll Take a Nap

Every couple days I get the urge to take a nap. I don't necessarily want to take a nap - it makes me feel like the old Grandpas you see on TV snoring away in their rocking chairs. It tarnishes my self-defined macho image.
My Doctor assures me (or reassures me) it's just that I'm old as dirt (almost 69). That's true, of course, but I don't actually feel that old.
Fatigue is listed as a possible side effect for each of my several medications. Now that's something I'm more willing to believe.
And there's the possibility that it's the biological process of my ancient immune system fighting off the Prostate Cancer that tires me out a bit.
Whatever it is, my energy level is definitely below par (at least below what I want it to be). It could be that the old geezer nap might not be such a bad idea after all - maybe. I'll let you know.
What is your experience with fatigue - and overcoming it? Let me know.
axman