Living Life Three-Months at a Time

Maybe three month segments aren’t so bad…

My life is arranged around when I see my various and sundry doctors. Over a period of several years I have managed to get all my appointments set for a one-week period every three months. That leaves two and a half months to travel, camp, read, write, and totally forget my trials and tribulations – mostly.

I have long believed – but not necessarily practiced – that worrying about my physical ailments does absolutely no good. Over the past couple of years I have noticed that I rarely think about the progression of my prostate cancer or arthritis or even senility (I forget that I might be senile) when I don’t have a pending doctor’s appointment. Then, about a week before I see my doctors I do a quick check to see if I’m still alive and functional.

Most of my medical consultations are rather boring:
“What hurts – on a scale from one to ten?”
“Things haven’t changed much – that’s probably good.”
“Here’s your prescription.”
“See you in about three months – if I’m not on vacation then.”

Then, for almost three more months, I’m free (and healthy in my own mind) again. And my circle of medical life goes on and on. Does this kind of thing happen to you, too?

Axman

In With the New

…but not necessarily OUT with the old…

We just completed the drive from sort of sunny Arizona to sort of cold and wet Idaho to see our new grandson – our sixth grandchild. As expected – at three days old he was tiny, loud, strong, and of course perfect.

What will he face when he grows up? I won’t know about a lot of his life. Will he look like me? And will he inherit my genetic link to prostate cancer? Surely there will be a cure by the time he may need it – 40 or 50 or 60 years from now. A cure four or five or six months from now would be good, too.

Helping to care for a newborn put some things in perspective;

1 I’m not really in charge – no adult is – of this small human who does what he does regardless of how much we all try to do the right thing and manage his life.

2 He sleeps when he’s ready and lets everyone know when he’s decided its time to eat – or not to eat.

3 Our best intentions may result in screaming and flailing limbs or he may cuddle and sleep for hours – it’s not totally predictable.

4 He does seem to have mastered sucking, pooping, and peeing – on his schedule.

As the grandpa, I can always hand him back to Mom and Dad when all else fails. Strangely I don’t remember a lot about the difficult times when my kids were babies – maybe because my wife did most of the hard work.

The cycle of life continues...

axman

A Leged in My Own Mind

…how do I want to be remembered - is there even a choice?

When I was a kid growing up way out in the country, I knew a lot of older men who seemed ancient to me at the time – wrinkled, bald, fat, and sometimes crippled. I was told these guys were war heroes, ex-major league ballplayers, and bi-plane pilots. In my adolescent mind this wasn’t possible. Old duffers were always old duffers; they couldn’t possibly have been young and strong and brave in some past life.

Now I’m older than they were when I knew them. And even though I fit the description from above (wrinkled, fat, bald, and gimpy) I still remember the time when I was young and strong and adventurous. But how do my grandkids (and maybe great-grandkids) see me? Could they even imagine what I was like 25 or 40 or 60 years ago? Probably not.

Will they even know what it means to work your way through college? Would they believe I actually ran all those marathons and ultra marathons? And how could I have survived without HD TV, computers, cell phones, iPods, and especially wifi?

I guess the solution is: don’t worry about it, be happy. Keep doing what I do now. And accept the fact that I will be remembered as a strange old man and not the Greek God I would have like to have been in my wild, impetuous youth. My youngest grandchild was just born - what will he think of his old grandma and grandpa? Don't ask...


axman

Afraid of Dying?

…just about everybody is if they’re being honest and paying attention

Most of my life I never gave a second thought to death or dying unless somebody I knew died. That changed slightly the day I was diagnosed with cancer. Even then it was more strange than frightening. In recent years several close friends have died from long-term diseases including a variety of cancers. I was impressed at how calm, accepting, and unafraid they were.


In my experience, there seems to be a progression of views and beliefs in life.

At 20 I assumed I would live forever and never lose any kind of functioning. For a while that seemed to be the case.


At 50 I felt strong and still indestructible – even though I remember that I considered my parents old when THEY were 50.


At 70 (almost) I have come to accept mortality (sort of). But there is a lot I still want to do. My bucket list is long. I have slowed down some (OK, more than some) and there are more aches and pains than a few years ago. My prostate cancer is under control, for now, and my arthritis and other aches and pains are mainly annoyances.


My mind (this, of course, may not seem to be true to anyone who knows me) seems to be OK most of the time – if you don’t count forgetting lots of things.

I am less patient with long waits for medical appointments, slow payment of insurance claims, rudeness from people who SHOULD be helping me, and people assuming I am stupid just because I’m old and gray. I’ve learned to say things like, “Let me talk to your supervisor”, and “No, that’s NOT OK”!

So I’m just going to get on with it (it being living the way I want) and see what happens.


Axman

Excess Thinking May be Hazardous

…to Your Mental Health; so most of us should not be at risk

It’s good to be busy. That doesn’t necessarily mean accomplishing anything; just being on the move, reading, puttering; something other that just staring at the wall or ceiling or TV.


My wife and I are blessed with lots to do (she feels more blessed than I do, however). There’s always something to fix or change around the house, we go camping, traveling, visiting kids and grandkids, and jeeping - we feel pretty good most of the time. And we find that we don’t have time to worry too much – more than we’d like, but it’s manageable.

We’ve noticed that many, but not all, our geriatric contemporaries agree with us. When we suggest activities or invite to some of them to go someplace we often get answers like:

“Camping? Nah; too dirty and dusty and we'd probably get bitten or stung. You go and tell us about it later. I think we’ll just take it easy at home.”

“Travel outside the U.S? Nah, the plane might crash, we could get a disease, the food is probably tainted, and those foreign people over there talk funny! I think we’ll watch a special on the National Geographic channel instead.”

“Go out to Dinner? I think not. Why not just have a pizza delivered and not have to bother with dressing up and getting through all that traffic. Why leave the comfort of home if you don’t have to?”

Thinking about what to do (more likely what not do), how many aches and pains you have, the next horrible diagnosis, or the state of the economy might be useful, but if all you do is think and worry and procrastinate… that’s probably not so healthy.

axman

It’s Pills, Pills, Pills…

That’ll Cure Our Ills

I don’t see myself as a pill popper, but when I count up all the pills I take each day it appears that I am. I’m not alone! Pills are supposed to keep us healthy, prevent disease, and keep us alive when all else fails. So why do YOU take pills?

To numb our pains we all take pills.

For the upset from pain pills – more pills.

To manage cancer we take bunches of pills.

To manage the cancer pills we still take pills.

Of course if you can’t sleep – it’s pills.

Then to wake up and be alert we need pills.

If we’re lucky we get generic pills.

If not we swallow Name Brand pills.

Sometimes there’s a chance to get experimental pills.

Then there are ‘make water’ pills.

And ‘stop making water’ pills.

To start your heart you may need pills.

And to slow it down, take different pills.

After eating we take ‘full stomach’ pills.

Before eating it’s the ‘empty stomach’ pills.

So all our ills are treated with pills.

Or maybe those ills are caused by pills.

I’d write more but it’s time to take my pills.

axman

The Benefits of Winter Sun

…if you can find some

One of the many benefits of retirement is the opportunity to choose my own climate of residence. Each winter we try to spend a month or two in a place that’s warmer and dryer than western Oregon. So far - so good.

Spring, Summer, and Fall are tolerable most anywhere but Winter is a season of a different color. Fog, rain, ice, clouds, and short days are not high on my pleasure meter.

So, we try to spend a month or two in a warmer climate each winter – Arizona most of the time. It’s not perfect – nights are cold and the wind blows a bit – but overall 70 degree days and lots of clear skies tip the scales for me.

And don’t forget the health benefits of sunshine and vitamin D and such. I have to admit, however, that the major benefit is mental! Somehow waking up to sunshine, daily walks without rain, sitting in the sun, and picnics in January improve my outlook. From my wife’s point of view that means I’m less grumpy and that improves her mental outlook. That’s a two-fer.

axman

Bring on Those Magical Cures!

When prostate cancer keeps coming back…

Logic, science, medical expertise, and common sense be damned; there comes a time when all that remains is faith, dumb luck, or magic.

So, we try the mud baths, salt water enemas, massive doses of Vitamin C or B, 20 cups of green tea each day, and even those hallucinatory mushrooms. And if it seems to work – even a little – we consider it a miracle.

When many types of cancer (such as prostate) come back after a shot or two at a cure, the rest of your time is spent being a ‘survivor’. “I’m still surviving; still alive.” That survival might be a few months or many years or somewhere in between.

If you want to know more about ‘miracle cures’ just go online. Google ‘non traditional cancer cures’ or ‘curing your own cancer’ or just ‘cancer cures’ and you’ll find hundreds of individual anecdotal miracles. “How Potato Peels Purified my Prostate” or “How Bungee Jumping Cured My Cancer.” Are any of these stories true? Is there any scientific evidence? Probably. Probably not. Maybe. Nobody knows. Everybody’s cancer is different from every body else’s.

Would I try a magical mystery cure? If the time and circumstances were right – yeah, probably.

Besides, I believe in magic.

axman

Prostate Cancer don’t get NO Respect

Sick Old Men Unite!

There are numerous runs, walks, auctions, pledge drives, dinners, and T shirt sales to support research and treatment for breast cancer. That’s as it should be, of course.

But where are the public relations people and events when it comes to prostate cancer? What’s the matter with all you guys with prostate cancer? Are you shy, indifferent, or embarrassed? Do you truly believe that real men DON’T (or shouldn’t) get prostate cancer? Yes they do (read Real Men Get Prostate Cancer Too – http://www.axmaker.com/ and convince yourself)! Big hairy bikers, iron pumpers, CEOs, vegans, pilots, bowlers, marathon runners, accountants, and even lawyers (as if anybody cares) do get prostate cancer.

One reason for prostate cancer’s seeming lack of public popularity is almost certainly men’s reluctance to discuss anything personal - and another reason may be that your prostate doesn’t show (do you know where your prostate is tonight?). Whether or not you have a prostate doesn’t do much to change your appearance (at least on the outside).

So speak up, educate people, and do your part to make sure that research continues to look for better treatments and even a cure!
axman

I Don’t Want to Live Forever…

…but just a little longer would be nice

Every part of our bodies wears out, short circuits, or ceases to function sooner or later. It doesn’t happen at the same rate for everybody. You know people who look and act years younger than their biological age – and you know some relatively young people who act old and decrepit. Of course we all see ourselves as looking younger than our real age…

Aging sneaks up on you. You’re joints get stiffer in the morning, you get a cramp after your walk, there’s a new pain in your shoulder, and don’t forget the arthritis in your hands. Then there is the need for stronger and thicker glasses every couple of years, a hearing aid (mostly its that others mumble more), and trying to save those few remaining teeth.

Your heart, your strongest muscle, seldom lasts more than a century or so, livers do better without too much alcohol (a little wine might even be beneficial I tell myself), and your lungs don’t much like smoke. And who knows when you might get hit by a bus!

We cope by making small adjustments, then larger ones; from there it's relying on medications, and often more serious treatments like surgery, chemotherapy, or getting new parts. As a last resort we look for miracle cures (as if surviving this long hasn’t been a miracle) – it all seems to be part of the plan.

axman