My Heroes

Heroes can be male or female and any age. But most of mine are well past retirement age.

Many of my heroes have serious life threatening diseases and still do things beyond what would be expected and they show strength and perseverance in the process.

For anyone with incurable cancer, the probable end doesn‘t sound very good. “Your cancer will eventually kill you—unless something else does first.” You’d think there would be a tendency to give up and just wait for the inevitable. Sometimes that’s what happens. But mostly—not so. 


In my experience, a bad prognosis can actually motivate someone to do something more, extra, different, and even feel more positive in the process (not the same as denial). What they do doesn’t always make sense to the rest of us—it doesn’t have to.

Call it a ‘bucket list,’ ‘wish list,’ or just ‘why the heck not list,’ it can certainly impact quality of life and just maybe even length of life—just maybe. Here are a few examples taken from what I see and hear:

• Being totally restricted to a wheel chair doesn’t have to keep you from going on that cruise or visiting Branson or Disney World.
•  Having the strength to laugh and joke about whether to wear the blonde, auburn, or brunette wig today (thanks to chemotherapy baldness), makes the day a little better.
•  Getting a tattoo—someplace that shows and will probably embarrass the kids (but not the grandkids) is a statement of independence—of sorts.
• Skydiving for the first time (safer than driving down the road, I’m told) can be a thrill or a way to overcome a long time fear.
• Selling the house, buying an R.V., and traveling as far as possible for as long as possible seems to be more and more popular. Watch out for old geezers in 40 foot motor homes (towing a Jeep).
• Finding old high school and college friends (with the help of the Internet and grandkids) and renewing long ago friendships is rewarding and kind of cool.

Facing your particular reality and not giving up, becoming amazingly resourceful, not letting an uncertain future dictate the present you can control, and not feeling sorry for yourself makes you a hero. Thanks for setting a good example.

axman

Bucket Lists

A couple years ago, when it became obvious that my prostate cancer and my wife's diabetes were not going to get much better or go away, we made some not-so-difficult decisions:

We were going to spend our kid's inheritance (the stock market has been amazingly helpful in this)

We were going to do as many things and go as many places as possible (bad backs and poor memories be damned)

We were going to spend time with kids and grandkids and friends (as long as they could put up with us)

We were going to read books and drink wine and take naps (so far so good).

When I shared this sort-of philosophy with some of my prostate cancer survivor friends, they didn't necessarily share my goals. In fact, several of them had an almost-opposite goal: stay home, relax, enjoy what you have, and fade away gracefully. It made me think a little (I didn't want to overdo it) - everybody has their own idea of what their retirement years should include. Fair enough. Just make sure you actually make a decision. Don't just let time slip and slide away and then wonder where it all went...
Do what YOU want to do before you "kick the bucket."
axman