On the Road Again…

There’s no place like home, but…

Whether it’s around the block or around the country, it’s good to be on the go. Really.

I have been in a seven-year prostate cancer holding pattern – a series of treatments, no cures, just doing what needs to be done to keep progression as slow as possible. That’s as good as it’s going to get far as I can tell. But I have also noticed that when I’m at home for any extended period of time – particularly in the wet Oregon winter (October until May) I tend to think more about my cancer and aches and pains.

So, we do a lot of running around (traveling makes us sound too sophisticated). We visit friends around town, spend time with kids and grandkids in other states, go to lots of historical spots, and do more than our share of camping and hiking in the summers. We even get out of the country once in a while. Our kids gave up any hope of an inheritance years ago.

When I’m doing things – especially new and interesting things, I feel better and go days at a time without ever thinking about my health problems – less time to dwell on self pity. It works for me.

axman

Medical Science, Black Magic, and Dumb Luck

Prostate Cancer Treatment in the 21st Century

I follow a few blogs, medical sites, and government sites that focus on prostate cancer. As an old geezer with incurable (but not untreatable) prostate cancer I am looking for hope and progress – something credible that might slow growth, shrink tumors, kill cancer cells, and let me live happily ever after. There are a lot articles and anecdotal stories that tout green tea or pomegranate juice or some drug not yet approvedas a miracle cure. It does appear that more men are living longer – that’s good.

But, there does not seem to be a cure on the horizon – guys keep dying while waiting for something to happen. Every once in a while somebody claims to be totally cured after suffering for six or sixteen years, or their macrobiotic diet shrunk their tumor to nothing, or eating flax seeds while living in clean mountain air has lowered their PSA from 842 to 1.2.

My PSA has stayed about the same for the two years I have been on hormone therapy, but all the data points to a time when the hormones will no longer slow prostate cancer cell growth. Nobody seems to know why it works for two years for some guys and 10 years for others. I’m hoping for 10 years – or more.

Answers would be nice. Even knowing the right questions would help. For now I can more or less accept my role of keeping on keeping on. Let me know if YOU have either good questions or good answers.

axman

The PSA Test – to be or not to be

What’s a guy to do?

In recent weeks and months there has been a lot written and said about the PSA (prostate specific antigen) test that men have been getting for several decades to help detect prostate cancer.

Some doctors and researchers are condemning the test as useless or even harmful and others defend it. What should us poor guys (who need the information) do? I’m way past the diagnosis part but I get PSA tests every three months to help determine the amount of hormone therapy I get. That seems to work for me.

Opponents say that PSA tests result in a lot of unnecessary treatments – surgery, radiation, freezing, and other options. And those treatments can lead to impotence and incontinence. That’s true - those side effects do happen. Common sense and patience might help. The PSA test is less than perfect but what is plan B? Nobody seems to know.

Increased PSA doesn’t necessarily mean you have prostate cancer. But results can provide information you need to weigh future decisions about your condition.

If you have never had a PSA test, check out organizations that you trust for more information and certainly talk to your doctor. What do the experts say? Check out the Mayo Clinic and American Cancer Society guidelines. They’ve changed over the years. Whatever their recommendations are you and your doctor will still need to talk and decide.

Mayo Clinic – PSA Guidelines http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/prostate-cancer/HQ01273.

American Cancer Society – New PSA Guidelines http://www.cancer.org/docroot/NWS/content/NWS_1_1x_Revised_Prostate_Cancer_Screening_Guidelines_What_Has--and_Hasnt--Changed.asp.

I’ve had many PSA tests and will probably have many more. Every man has to look at all the options and decide for himself. What do YOU think?

axman

In the Spring an Old Man’s Fancy Turns to Thoughts of…

Sore knees, malfunctioning plumbing, setting new goals, and, of course, the good old days

After several years of almost daily walking and hiking but very little running, I’m starting to run again. …just a couple of miles every other day so far but hopefully it will build and lead to completing a marathon by next fall. That’s if everything goes well.

I tire more easily than I did even four or five years ago. Maybe it’s because of my cancer; maybe it’s due to my age; maybe it’s a combination of the two plus a few physical disparities. On obvious problem is my knee – with all the cartilage removed in 2006.

So, as I see it:
Job 1 – get these old bones and muscles back in shape – lungs too
Job 2 – baby that knee so it doesn’t grind and scrape too much. And be gentle with those herniated disks in my back
Job 3 – combine the results of job 1 and job 2 into a completed marathon in my 70th year.

Why am I doing this? Honestly I suppose there are several factors; ego, self identity, stubbornness, or maybe just stupidity (that’s my wife’s conclusion). I’ve completed more than 75 marathons and ultra-marathons and I always enjoyed the challenge. I ran pretty fast in some of them (won a few) and pretty slow in others. One more would feel good – another personal goal met.

My last marathon was in Stockholm (the one in Sweden) in 2005 and it took me well over five hours – more than double my best times in the foggy past. But I can live with slow – not that I have much choice. Stay tuned…

axman

Living Life Three-Months at a Time

Maybe three month segments aren’t so bad…

My life is arranged around when I see my various and sundry doctors. Over a period of several years I have managed to get all my appointments set for a one-week period every three months. That leaves two and a half months to travel, camp, read, write, and totally forget my trials and tribulations – mostly.

I have long believed – but not necessarily practiced – that worrying about my physical ailments does absolutely no good. Over the past couple of years I have noticed that I rarely think about the progression of my prostate cancer or arthritis or even senility (I forget that I might be senile) when I don’t have a pending doctor’s appointment. Then, about a week before I see my doctors I do a quick check to see if I’m still alive and functional.

Most of my medical consultations are rather boring:
“What hurts – on a scale from one to ten?”
“Things haven’t changed much – that’s probably good.”
“Here’s your prescription.”
“See you in about three months – if I’m not on vacation then.”

Then, for almost three more months, I’m free (and healthy in my own mind) again. And my circle of medical life goes on and on. Does this kind of thing happen to you, too?

Axman

In With the New

…but not necessarily OUT with the old…

We just completed the drive from sort of sunny Arizona to sort of cold and wet Idaho to see our new grandson – our sixth grandchild. As expected – at three days old he was tiny, loud, strong, and of course perfect.

What will he face when he grows up? I won’t know about a lot of his life. Will he look like me? And will he inherit my genetic link to prostate cancer? Surely there will be a cure by the time he may need it – 40 or 50 or 60 years from now. A cure four or five or six months from now would be good, too.

Helping to care for a newborn put some things in perspective;

1 I’m not really in charge – no adult is – of this small human who does what he does regardless of how much we all try to do the right thing and manage his life.

2 He sleeps when he’s ready and lets everyone know when he’s decided its time to eat – or not to eat.

3 Our best intentions may result in screaming and flailing limbs or he may cuddle and sleep for hours – it’s not totally predictable.

4 He does seem to have mastered sucking, pooping, and peeing – on his schedule.

As the grandpa, I can always hand him back to Mom and Dad when all else fails. Strangely I don’t remember a lot about the difficult times when my kids were babies – maybe because my wife did most of the hard work.

The cycle of life continues...

axman

A Leged in My Own Mind

…how do I want to be remembered - is there even a choice?

When I was a kid growing up way out in the country, I knew a lot of older men who seemed ancient to me at the time – wrinkled, bald, fat, and sometimes crippled. I was told these guys were war heroes, ex-major league ballplayers, and bi-plane pilots. In my adolescent mind this wasn’t possible. Old duffers were always old duffers; they couldn’t possibly have been young and strong and brave in some past life.

Now I’m older than they were when I knew them. And even though I fit the description from above (wrinkled, fat, bald, and gimpy) I still remember the time when I was young and strong and adventurous. But how do my grandkids (and maybe great-grandkids) see me? Could they even imagine what I was like 25 or 40 or 60 years ago? Probably not.

Will they even know what it means to work your way through college? Would they believe I actually ran all those marathons and ultra marathons? And how could I have survived without HD TV, computers, cell phones, iPods, and especially wifi?

I guess the solution is: don’t worry about it, be happy. Keep doing what I do now. And accept the fact that I will be remembered as a strange old man and not the Greek God I would have like to have been in my wild, impetuous youth. My youngest grandchild was just born - what will he think of his old grandma and grandpa? Don't ask...


axman

Afraid of Dying?

…just about everybody is if they’re being honest and paying attention

Most of my life I never gave a second thought to death or dying unless somebody I knew died. That changed slightly the day I was diagnosed with cancer. Even then it was more strange than frightening. In recent years several close friends have died from long-term diseases including a variety of cancers. I was impressed at how calm, accepting, and unafraid they were.


In my experience, there seems to be a progression of views and beliefs in life.

At 20 I assumed I would live forever and never lose any kind of functioning. For a while that seemed to be the case.


At 50 I felt strong and still indestructible – even though I remember that I considered my parents old when THEY were 50.


At 70 (almost) I have come to accept mortality (sort of). But there is a lot I still want to do. My bucket list is long. I have slowed down some (OK, more than some) and there are more aches and pains than a few years ago. My prostate cancer is under control, for now, and my arthritis and other aches and pains are mainly annoyances.


My mind (this, of course, may not seem to be true to anyone who knows me) seems to be OK most of the time – if you don’t count forgetting lots of things.

I am less patient with long waits for medical appointments, slow payment of insurance claims, rudeness from people who SHOULD be helping me, and people assuming I am stupid just because I’m old and gray. I’ve learned to say things like, “Let me talk to your supervisor”, and “No, that’s NOT OK”!

So I’m just going to get on with it (it being living the way I want) and see what happens.


Axman

Excess Thinking May be Hazardous

…to Your Mental Health; so most of us should not be at risk

It’s good to be busy. That doesn’t necessarily mean accomplishing anything; just being on the move, reading, puttering; something other that just staring at the wall or ceiling or TV.


My wife and I are blessed with lots to do (she feels more blessed than I do, however). There’s always something to fix or change around the house, we go camping, traveling, visiting kids and grandkids, and jeeping - we feel pretty good most of the time. And we find that we don’t have time to worry too much – more than we’d like, but it’s manageable.

We’ve noticed that many, but not all, our geriatric contemporaries agree with us. When we suggest activities or invite to some of them to go someplace we often get answers like:

“Camping? Nah; too dirty and dusty and we'd probably get bitten or stung. You go and tell us about it later. I think we’ll just take it easy at home.”

“Travel outside the U.S? Nah, the plane might crash, we could get a disease, the food is probably tainted, and those foreign people over there talk funny! I think we’ll watch a special on the National Geographic channel instead.”

“Go out to Dinner? I think not. Why not just have a pizza delivered and not have to bother with dressing up and getting through all that traffic. Why leave the comfort of home if you don’t have to?”

Thinking about what to do (more likely what not do), how many aches and pains you have, the next horrible diagnosis, or the state of the economy might be useful, but if all you do is think and worry and procrastinate… that’s probably not so healthy.

axman

It’s Pills, Pills, Pills…

That’ll Cure Our Ills

I don’t see myself as a pill popper, but when I count up all the pills I take each day it appears that I am. I’m not alone! Pills are supposed to keep us healthy, prevent disease, and keep us alive when all else fails. So why do YOU take pills?

To numb our pains we all take pills.

For the upset from pain pills – more pills.

To manage cancer we take bunches of pills.

To manage the cancer pills we still take pills.

Of course if you can’t sleep – it’s pills.

Then to wake up and be alert we need pills.

If we’re lucky we get generic pills.

If not we swallow Name Brand pills.

Sometimes there’s a chance to get experimental pills.

Then there are ‘make water’ pills.

And ‘stop making water’ pills.

To start your heart you may need pills.

And to slow it down, take different pills.

After eating we take ‘full stomach’ pills.

Before eating it’s the ‘empty stomach’ pills.

So all our ills are treated with pills.

Or maybe those ills are caused by pills.

I’d write more but it’s time to take my pills.

axman