Setting a GOOD Example in those Declining Years

Or not… Since I published my book I have met with a dozen or so small groups of men and their wives to discuss prostate cancer, their survival, my survival, and of course my book. The groups are generally small (often really small) and the talk is very interactive – with others asking questions and making comments as I proceed. It’s all very calm and relaxed.

More often than not the questions sound like, “What should I do?” “What’s the best treatment?” “Does my Doctor know what he’s talking about?” “You must know what works – so share it with us!”

I really don’t know what they should do (except to buy and read my book). Sometimes they think I’m withholding information from them. After all, I have prostate cancer and I wrote a book so I must be an expert. Don’t I wish…

I tell than that if I knew of a cure for prostate cancer I would first cure myself and then share that information with the rest of the world – for a small fee, of course.

What I can do, and try to do, is to live my life the way I say that I do (in the book and during the talks). Whatever it is that I do must be working at least a little - I’m still alive. Basically that consists of good nutrition, staying active, keeping a positive outlook (most of the time), and thinking pure thoughts (OK, probably not the pure thoughts part). I’m not a saint, not even a little bit saintly, and would not recommend that anybody emulate me – unless they came to that conclusion after checking things out for themselves.

Men with prostate cancer should (probably) get as much information as possible, make choices based on their best judgment, and be willing to change direction if something doesn’t work. As far as I can determine, nobody knows for sure what anybody with prostate cancer should do.

axman

Men and Doctors – Keeping One from the Other

I’ve never known a man who would willingly go to see his doctor unless blood was gushing from a manly wound someplace. We all know it’s a good idea to get checkups, vaccinations, and prescriptions from time to time. But I put off doctor visits until my wife yells at me (inducing greater fear than seeing the doctor) and sometimes (usually) she even calls to make the appointment.

Most of the women I know make regular doctor appointments, write them down, and then actually show up at the appointed time. They don’t even make a big deal about it. Rumor has it that women (in general) live longer than men (in general). Could there be a connection between seeing a doctor and living longer? Nahhhh.

Don’t get me wrong, I get along just fine with my doctors. I even like them. I see four or five different physicians from time to time. Not one of them has ever mistreated me, lectured me, or even pointed and laughed. Maybe it comes down to some primordial need or urge to be manly and take care of myself. Or it may be inherent stubbornness or laziness – more likely. My wife would agree with all these reasons.

axman

Get 'er Done!

Rule #1 of Retirement: If you can do it yourself - you MUST!

Well, that's more my wife's rule than mine, but there is this mindset that as time gets shorter you hurry faster to get it all (whatever all means) done.

This summer we needed a new roof over the back deck and new siding on the house. You'd think that your average decrepit, sickly, elderly couple could find a younger and smarter and stronger handyman (or handywoman) eager for the job. After a brief (very brief) discussion we decided that we could easily do it by ourselves over the course of the summer. How hard could it be? And we'd save a bundle of money!

But the real reason we choose to do it may have more to do with that dratted work ethic instilled in us by our depression-era parents and grandparents. Hard work is good for the soul! Even though it may not be so good for the rest of the body.

It took two or three weeks to complete most of the work and probably double that to heal. Next comes the painting - yup, we're doing that part, too. At least paint is less dangerous than skill saws, electric drills, and hammers - if you don't inhale too often. And there IS that feeling of satisfaction, impressing the neighbors, and owning the family bragging rights; "Look what WE did during our summer vacation!" Nobody seems all that impressed and a few brave souls even asked why on earth we didn't get somebody else to do it.

I've noticed that quite a few of our geezer friends, some of them in much worse health than we are, still feel the need and obligation to do all their own repairs and building and painting and mechanical work. Maybe we'll make a smarter decision next time - but not likely.

axman